Looking for some dating tips for finding the right person? Here you have 17 tips to have a great first date experience!
Whether you’re a regular on the singles scene or fresh to the market following a heartbreak, the first date can be an overwhelming unknown sometimes. Perhaps you’ve been dating for a little while but are struggling to connect with singles you’d really like to match up with? Or maybe you have dipped your toe in but had a few difficult experiences?
Dating shouldn’t feel like a stressful part time job or an aggravation that needs to be overcome to get the result you’re hoping for. In this article, you will find the best dating tips to make a perfect first date!
The best tips to make your date great!
After numerous conversations and first dates that head nowhere fast, it’s tempting to start blaming the system and the other daters out there. However—in case no one has told you recently; dating is supposed to be a positive experience for you!
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So, here are 17 key tips to help your first date turn into second, third, and beyond!
Tip #1: Avoid stress and start from a place of calm.
Rushing into the venue a few minutes late and flustered is not a good look. From a foundation of stress you are unlikely to relax enough to introduce your best self.
Avoid the chaos by leaving plenty of time to travel to meet your date. Get a table and order yourself a drink as you acclimatize. Have your bank card at the front of your wallet for seamless payments. Removing stress will free you to enjoy yourself. Plus, you will impress them with your calm sense of confidence!
So, the starting point and one of the best dating tips is to minimize stress and just relax!
First Date Tip #2: Be the listener we all want.
It’s easy to chatter when we are attracted to someone. This is caused by excitement or sudden nerves. It may also originate from an honest effort to find topics of common ground. Use this energy in a better way by channelling it into practicing some great listening. There is nothing more attractive than realizing you have someone’s full and undivided attention.
Resist the need to interrupt. Instead, offer open questions and consciously take in the information they share with you. This is one of the best dating tips to remember and your key to connection.
Tip #3: Forget negativity and talking about your ex!
Negativity is off-putting. Complaining about the lack of choice on the menu in front of you is not a wise idea. Even the most open-minded of romantics will likely take a step back. Focus on the lighter side of life where possible. Save the heavier heart to hearts for when you know one another a little better.
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Signal to your date that you appreciate the best that life offers you both. Genuinely celebrate the elements of life you most appreciate—including your date.
Oh, and steer clear of talking about your recent ex. No one wants it
“It was awkward and sad to listen to my date going on and on about their ex when we were lying in bed after having sex. I could only think of two things: had they been thinking about their ex all this time and how can I get rid of this person politely but right now? A new date is not the right person to listen to all your sorrows. That’s a therapist’s job.”
Tip #4: Dress to impress and to feel optimistic!
Don’t trip yourself up by worrying about if you’re overdressed. Choose outfits that make you feel comfortable and confident. Tight clothing will implicate you fidgeting which is never a good look. Wear something flattering, fresh and well pressed. Pay attention to the detail of your grooming also to ensure you feel your very best.
When you feel a little special, you will naturally feel more optimistic about the potential of the date as a whole.
Plus if it doesn’t work out, you’ll leave with your head held high. Thank-you, next!
Tip #5: Don’t mistake polished appearances for complete reality.
No matter how confident your friends seem about dating, they get nervous flutters also. If your date is cool as a cucumber that doesn’t mean they are completely sure of themselves. None of us are hardwired for dating. All daters feel unsure at some point.
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Don’t fixate on faults. Focus on the attributes that you have to offer. To break the ice, let your date know that you are feeling the nerves. You might be surprised at how similarly they feel below the surface.
Dating Tip #6: Remove digital distractions and show you’re genuinely interested.
We have all experienced the frustration of having a conversation with someone before witnessing them glance down at a phone notification and therefore breaking our connection with them. Digital addiction is a chronic issue for many of us but technology is a definite no-no when you’re on a date. So, here are two easy, practical and very basic dating tips to remember:
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- Put your smartphone away out of sight.
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- Turn your shoulders towards the person you’re speaking to in order to signal that you’re genuinely interested in what they have to say.
Good manners are always a good idea!
Dating Tip #7: Have a back-up plan with open questions and compliments.
Verbal disaster may occur if we are swamped with nerves or fearful thoughts of rejection. To avoid unwanted silences, have a few open questions to hand to tide you both over while you find your footing. Open questions married with compliments will work well.
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For example, “I noticed you enjoy volunteering on your profile, have you always been so generous?”. Subtle flattery will carry you through in a multitude of situations.
First Date Tip #8: Don’t judge too quickly.
Sometimes nerves can make us quick to judge. We all may say or do silly things which aren’t typical of who we really are. If someone makes a minor error on a date then don’t write them off immediately. Red flags implicate a closed door, but don’t miss out on a great relationship due to human slip-ups. Who knows who could become ‘The One’ in future?
One of the best dating tips and also general advice for creating a happy, healthy relationship is to avoid negativity and criticism. So, don’t make too quick judgments!
First Date Tip #9: Seal the deal for a second date!
Even when a first date seems to go well, it sadly doesn’t always lead to a second date. This can be frustrating, leaving us wondering what went wrong. Perhaps your date was not as interested as they made out. This is their choice (and loss) ultimately. However, sometimes it is simply a case of improving our communication approach to ensure a follow up date is set.
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As your date comes to an end, mention how much you enjoyed it. Don’t go overboard or you will come across as unattractively persuasive. Then, read their response. Is their body language open? Are they being tactile with you? If so, use this positive moment to invite them on a second date.
Tip #10: After the first date – What next?
Unsure of their feelings? Bottled it at the last moment? What to do after the first date? Should I text him or her first, or should I just wait? These are the questions many people ask from me, so here are some good tips and guidance!
After the first date, check in via text with a brief message asking them for a second meeting after they’ve returned home. Combine this with expressing hope that they got home safely to demonstrate good manners and give you an opener to invite them out to spend more time with you.
Create an inviting following up. Perhaps they mentioned they love to read and you know of an upcoming literary festival. They might be a keen Netflix fan who would appreciate a film night. Make tailored suggestions to signal the fact you really listened to them.
First Date Tip #11: Ignore time boundary rules!
It’s not appropriate to overload your date with calls, no matter how connected you feel. However, ditch the myths about double-texting or waiting for a specific time before replying. You aren’t here to play games. Leave nonsense to the amateurs.
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Show interest but avoid adding pressure. No one wants to feel chased into a second date. To build the kind of long-lasting connection you’re looking for, leave them smiling and wanting to spend more time in your company. This is the key to first date success!
Dating Tip #12: If you are being ghosted…
When you find yourself being ghosted (it happens, it hurts, keep moving) watch how you react to the perceived rejection. Perhaps this person’s circumstances drastically changed since your date. Or there might be another aspect to their situation that you are unaware of.
Frankly, it doesn’t matter. What is important, is that you take up the lesson that is present. How could you find a positive in this?
Dating Tip #13: Take care of your first date self.
Authenticity is one of the key aspects of a memorable first date. Remain confident in who you are. It’s impossible to inject every last piece of your personal character into one date. But it is possible to put yourself across in the best light to increase your chances of dating success.
Take care of yourself and nurture your own well-being even when you are not going on a date right now. Pay close attention to self-care and maintain a great sense of humor. You want to feel relaxed and happy on your first date when it comes!
Tip #14: For you who wonders “Who would want me…”
When we first start to date, we typically see things from an emotional perspective of “who will want me” rather than “who do I want”. Modern culture reiterates this perspective. Newsfeeds are full of faultless couples parading the ‘perfect’ image of love and romance in our faces. Know the ones? Exactly. Take the lead in your own love life by starting on the right foot from the outset.
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The key to building lasting, happy relationships is a strong foundation of personal self-esteem. If you are not comfortable in your own skin then you are much more likely to follow impulse rather than sense. It’s much harder to authentically represent who we are to someone new if we aren’t clear about our identity.
Dating Tip #15: If you are tired of dating…
Dating can be tiring. With all those adrenaline highs and the volumes of uncertainty, it’s a lot. It can be taxing on our minds and hearts—as well as our wallets! Take great care of yourself to keep things flowing positively.
It’s important to remember that the process of meeting ‘the one’ isn’t something to rush. Give yourself generous time and space to meet the right person without any extra pressure. If it doesn’t work out then simply appreciate the time you spent together before healthily moving on. You’re the one in the driving seat, so don’t waste time staring at your phone waiting for someone to call.
Need time out? Go ahead. You’ll return to the dating game refreshed and free from date-spoiling negativity!
First Date Tip #16: The best of all tips
Even though you had never been on a date, you have met many different kinds of people and had a nice time chatting. At least you have met your family members and closest friends. Bring back your memories of those good moments when you have enjoyed your time.
How was your own body language when you felt relaxed? How would your best friends know that you are being your true, authentic self? Imagine those good moments to increase your self-confidence and relax before going on your own perfect first date!
So, what’s your opinion: What would be a perfect first date?
Motivating You to mindshifting in many ways,
Your Coach Kati Niemi
Clinical Hypnotherapist, NLP Trainer, M.Sc.
[email protected]
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