The (R)evolution for Love is a book with tons of true stories as told by the men and women I interviewed about their experiences of breaking up as well as relationships. They had happy and unhappy relationships and secret affairs, before and after breaking up, and some were single again. If you would like to read real-life experiences of breaking up, as told by real people, and what happened before and after, order your solution-centred 374-page (R)evolution for Love relationship guide now. The book talks about both preserving relationships and breaking up. It is up to the reader to make up their mind. The role of the book is to help the reader to end the endless turmoil of whether To Break Up or Not to Break Up.
The book has stories and offers peer support for break ups as well as happy relationships.
The true break up stories discuss the many problems, reasons, emotions and practicalities related to breaking up. It is also helpful to those recovering from a break up. It guides you towards seeing the positives of single life and finding a new relationship in the fascinating world of dating.
The signs of happy and unhappy relationships and secret affairs
There are as many types of relationships as there are couples: marriage, cohabitation, open relationships. Relationships can be between binary and non-binary persons. Men and women and genderfluid. In addition there are secret affairs, one-night stands, other men and women, third wheels. Love relationships come in all shapes and forms. Any one of them can be built to last or end up in a break up.
Can secret affairs and one-night stands keep a relationship alive?
The love and passion in a secret affair can be the most amazing thing to experience. What reason is good enough to have a secret affair?
While most of the people I interviewed for the (R)evolution for Love represented heteronormative relationships and families, the book is really for everyone. I wrote it to all those whose relationship is stuck in a rut, in crisis or chaos. I though about all of you who are quietly wondering if your lives could be more or better – either in your current relationship or outside of it.
If your goal is to take a critical look at your thoughts, reading realistic stories of actual experiences of “good” and “bad” relationships, affairs and break ups can be useful. Learning from others means you don’t have to repeat their mistakes. Shared experiences will help you decide how to deal with relationships, working on them and leaving them.
The best experts of what a lack of communication skills means are those who have learnt through trial and error. The people who know how harmful denying one’s fears and feelings can be are those who learnt the hard way. Nobody is better at busting common myths than those who have gone through the pain of unlearning their own untruths.
Peer support and exercises to support your decision
The book offers peer support without holding back or avoiding any taboos.
With the many interesting real-life experiences of breaking up and 60 mental exercises, the book offers invaluable support for anyone struggling to reach a decision about their relationship. With a background clinical hypnotherapy and NLP, my exercises go deeper than the surface. The aim is for your to finally stop procrastinating and improve your relationship for good or bring it to a happy end. Any decision is better than none. Don’t waste your energy running around in circles 🙂
FREE EBOOK ‘I love you but…’ – To Break Up or Not to Break Up?
Refocus your energy now to improve your love life! This FREE ebook ‘I love you but…’ will help you move towards a better relationship or
The book gives you the tools for hacking your obsolete, unhealthy thoughts. This will clear up mental space for alternative solutions and a better relationship or a brilliant break up. My approach in the (R)evolution for Love book and blog is firm but gentle, as I want to encourage everyone to properly unpick their thought patterns.
The real-life experiences of breaking up are interesting and relatable, because they are not specific to any gender, age or other categorisations.
I have quoted my interviewees anonymous without revealing their names, age, gender or sexual orientation.
This choice allowed my interviewees to be brutally honest about their experiences, including cheating and secret affairs as well as their life and Tinder adventures once single again. But the most important reason for this choice was to allow my readers to identify with the stories from their personal perspective. No preconceived ideas such as “Aren’t all men are like that!” or “Typical of women!” or “That’s probably true at that age but not for me yet/anymore…”
I wanted to offer a neutral playing field for all readers to draw their own conclusions from the stories.
Reading about good and bad experiences of breaking up is helpful when trying to decide in which direction one’s own relationship should be heading.
Contemplating a break up is difficult and stressful to the point that it compromises your ability to function. If you have felt unhappy in your relationship for years or you just found out that your partner is cheating on you, you may still dismiss someone else’s valuable views just because you are not able to identify with them.
TO BREAK UP OR NOT TO BREAK UP? Should I stay or should I go?
How do you know if you should leave or not. How to make the decision to break up or to improve your relationship? To break up or not?
Moreover, reading about positive breakup experiences and divorce stories is highly necessary. Positive experiences do exist, although tabloid headlines would have you believe the opposite. When we are under stress, we are likely to only register the threats and exaggerate the risks. This makes decision-making harder than it needs to be.
With every good and bad experience of breaking up and happy and unhappy relationships that you read about, your own view about your relationship will become clearer.
However, no other relationship is like yours. Therefore, nobody’s experience of a breakup is a prediction of what your breakup will be like. Should you decide to break up, that is.
My motivation to share relationship and break up tips is to give you tools and resources to improve your relationship or to end it.
The best thing about my book was the deep conversations that I was privileged to have with my interviewees. Many of them were living in a happy relationship or had been happily divorced.
I had so many light-bulb moments during the writing process. It was fascinating to see how similarly people think and how identical the myths they held on to were before breaking up. And how rewarding it was to witness how they had learnt to see things from a new perspective at the end of the necessary processes.
When should you break up? Find out if you should stay together.
When is it pointless to stay together? When would you be better off breaking up? How do you know if you should break up or stay together?
It was great to hear that they, in turn, wanted to share their stories and spread positivity through (R)evolution for Love. It’s a great gift, because they are making the lives of those who are battling with the same issues so much easier.
In addition to the interviews, I also enjoyed the state of flow that I experienced writing the book. I would often be lying on my living room couch is semi-darkness. Only candles giving some light, I typed on my laptop, eyes closed, about what I had experienced or only just had realised. They were calm moments of creativity. I want the readers of (R)evolution for Love to enjoy similar moments of calm and clarity in their decision-making.
I was spoilt for choice: choosing between all the experiences of breaking up and helpful insights for the book was hard. Why would one experience be more valuable than another? Aren’t all our happy and unhappy relationship stories equally useful?
The most challenging part of the project was to edit hundreds of pages of interviews and thoughts and organise them into chapters to sharpen my message. What I had written myself was pretty easy to cut back and improve . The stories of my interviewees were much more difficult to edit and choose.
They were all so genuine and important.
Some of them were painful to read and touched me deeply.
Thinking about Breaking up? Social Media Reveals Your Thoughts
Thinking about breaking up? Your breakup thoughts – and relationship thoughts overall – might show up on your social media more than you know!
I am forever indebted to my excellent editor at Art House publishes, Riina Behl, who was brilliantly able to bring out the essential from all the material I had not had the heart to discard. Otherwise the book would have been close to 600 pages. Now it’s an easily readable 374-page package full of information and new insights to weather your relationship storms.
Finally holding the book in my hand, fresh out of print, was an amazing moment. The beautifully designed pages include plenty of unique stories of love, relationships and breaking up. Peer support like no other for every imaginable reader.
After I’d finished writing the book, it felt like I had manage to give all the valuable stories the opportunity they deserved to be shared with a wider audience. I sincerely hope that as many of you as possible will discover them. I have heard from many of my old Tinder dates that they had jumped at the chance to buy the book. Many have also said that the positive and encouraging message of the book is incredibly topical. Read more reader reviews here.
I’d love to hear your personal experiences of breaking up and relationships: stories, questions and feedback.
When writing the book, it was the input of real people that made all the difference. Without those actual relationship and breaking up experiences, happy and unhappy, the book would not exist. The book is now out, but I still welcome feedback and stories from my readers, men and women who are at this stage in their lives.
THE FEAR OF BREAKING UP: “I’m too ashamed to leave.”
Some people stay in an unhappy relationship because of the shame and fear of breaking up. Break-up fear and and shame is common. Why?
All feedback is important and a joy to read. I have been truly touched by your contributions. More reader reviews can be read here.
The book (R)evolution for Love has been well well received by newspapers, magazines and the radio.
The feeling when you know that the work you put into something has made a difference and helped so many people!
I wish you, too, will enjoy the (R)evolution for Love book and blog.
Ordering the book and personal coaching
I am a clinical hypnotherapist accredited by the Finnish Association of Hypnosis and a qualified NLP Trainer and coach. Order your copy of (R)evolution for Love or ask about personal coaching and/or hypnotherapy here.
Read more about the different themes of the blog in for example the following posts:
Motivating You to mindshifting in many ways,
Your Coach Kati Niemi
Clinical Hypnotherapist, NLP Trainer, M.Sc.
[email protected]
“FIVE STARS!” Book reviews: (R)evolution for Love (Amazon Books)
“Five Stars!” Editorial reviews and reader reviews of (R)evolution for Love – A Better Relationship or a Brilliant Break Up? Amazon books
FEEDBACK TO LOVE! Reader reviews (Book+Blog)
RELATIONSHIP GUIDE: BOOK REVIEWS – We are blown over by the feedback the (R)evolution for Love relationship blog and guide have received. WOW!
FREE AUDIOBOOK: Audible, Google Play and other stores’ free trial
Audiobook lovers benefit from FREE trial periods of book stores. Enjoy (R)evolution for Love on Amazon Audible, Google Play & other stores
FREE EBOOK ‘I love you but…’ – To Break Up or Not to Break Up?
Refocus your energy now to improve your love life! This FREE ebook ‘I love you but…’ will help you move towards a better relationship or
How to improve your wellbeing through self-development?
Science has revealed: some adults are not mentally sufficiently developed. How to improve your wellbeing through self-development?
Why does our conscious mind question the power of the unconscious mind?
Is the power of the unconscious mind fake news and is trying to harness it to achieve our full potential a waste of time? What do we mean by the unconscious mind?
INFIDELITY and the collected excuses: The good reasons for cheating
CHEATING: What is a good reason to cheat? What do the cheated partner, “the other woman/man” or the cheater choose to believe in?
What is an open relationship? Does it lead to breaking up?
What is an open relationship? Who are non-monogamous open relationships for? Is your partner suggesting consensual non-monogamy?
Narcissism in a Relationship: “How to Know if My Partner Is a Narcissist?”
What are the signs and causes of narcissism? Can you make a relationship with a narcissist work? Can you heal a narcissistic partner?
Aromatherapy for Libido & Romance – The Best Essential Oils for Love
Sense of smell influences our sexual desire and performance. Aromatherapy tips and the best essential oils for romance, libido, sex and love.
When positive thinking becomes toxic
What is too positive thinking like? Where should we focus the power of our mind and our willpower?
TO BREAK UP OR NOT TO BREAK UP? Should I stay or should I go?
How do you know if you should leave or not. How to make the decision to break up or to improve your relationship? To break up or not?
