A solution-centred relationship guide that works. Make that decision: should you stay or go? Should you work on your relationship or give up?

A Relationship Guide That Works

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The only problem in some relationship is the form of the relationship. For others, the only problem is stagnation. (R)evolution for Love is a relationship guide that helps you look at your relationship and the partners in it – even your annoying partner – in a positive, compassionate light even in the eventuality that your relationship is ending. 

(R)evolution for Love – A Better Relationship or a Brilliant Break Up is a relationship guide that works. It focuses on reaching a decision in the most challenging stage of your relationship: should you stay together or and what would it take to improve your relationship? Or would it be best for everyone concerned if your just broke up?

This blog post introduces the contents of (R)evolution for Love

The book is largely based on the real life experiences of men and women I interviewed as well as interesting mental exercises. 

It approaches the possibility of breaking up and divorce positively. The book is divided into four parts, each of which I’ll discuss in more depth in the following. This will give you an idea how the 374-page book and its solution-centred approach could be helpful in your particular situation. 

The table of contents of the book is provided at the end of this post, so that you can familiarise yourself with the content before buying your own copy of the paperback or e-book. The fastest way to buy the book is through HERE. 

This blog post also has links to reader reviews and the feedback it received in the press, radio and book fairs.

A relationship guide that works: inject new energy into your relationship and draw strength to leave your relationship and enjoy a happy single life.

If you would like the full package to support and inspire you, read this well-received relationship guide that really works from cover to cover. Do all of the 57 (!) exercises in your own time, taking the time to give each one of them proper thought. You can do the exercises on your own or with a friend – or even your partner.

The book offers a range of different perspectives into the myriad world of relationships and secret affairs. 

What are you mostly looking for right now?

(R)evolution for Love is an in-depth relationship/break-up guide.

Whichever angle is more relevant to you – that embraces a wide range of perspectives and approaches. 

Some of the readers of this positive relationship guide have found the book as a much-needed injection of spark in their relationship and confidence-booster in building a future as a couple. Others, some of whom were in a happy long-term relationship, were reminded by the book of the best parts of being in a good relationship

However, I have also received very touching feedback from grateful readers who felt the book gave them courage to make the decision to break up. 

Deep down they knew that decision had to be made, and thanks to the book, they were able to move on stronger than ever. 

Readers who had been through a successful break up felt that the book provided a very realistic and comprehensive account of what it takes to consider all the ins and outs and pros and cons of leaving a relationship.

Many said they would read this book again from time to time. The book will come in handy in all stages in life. This is because our perspectives change over the years. (R)evolution for Love is all about exploring and seeing things from a new perspective. My readers have said they would keep their copy of (R)evolution for Love for future reference, whatever their needs may be.

Journalists found lots of even conflicting angles in my book. Why is that?

Sometimes a journalist was interested purely on the topic of improving relationships. Another was specifically looking for tools for people struggling with the decision to stay in or leave a relationship and for overcoming a break up.

How can one book be treated both as a relationship and a break-up guide? Reviews and articles are often looking for a narrower click-baiting angle. This means that they also choose the angle from the book that represents only half of the overall message of the book. That explains why some of the reviews and discussions about my themes in the media seemed completely contradictory.

The break-up positive relationship guide (R)evolution for Love – A Better Relationship or a Brilliant Break Up provides a useful tool for navigating through the most difficult decision you have to make in your relationship. It serves as a roadmap when you are at a crossroads: when you or your partner are considering if you should break up. How do you know when it’s time to call it a day and end a relationship and when it’s better to keep trying to improve your relationship for good?

A gentle but firm relationship guide that works: Part I WAKE UP!

The first part of the (R)evolution for Love relationship guide, Wake Up!, describes typical key challenges in relationships. Looking at the issues through someone else’s experience can serve as a gentle wake-up call to ourselves.

If hindsight is 20/20, those who have been through a break up are probably in a position to share some words of wisdom of what they learnt. They are able to share their views on what does or doesn’t work in a relationship. After all they have gained practical experience on the matter.

In addition to true stories that should set off some alarms in your own relationship, the book also includes plenty of examples of how good a relationship can be when both partners are happy in it.

It is easier to fix your relationship when you know what’s broken. (R)evolution for Love is a solution-centred, break-up positive relationship guide that works because it helps you see your relationship more objectively.

It may set your alarm bells ringing for many reasons, and all those root causes will be explored in the book from a variety of angles.

Usually problems are genuine. We’d like to think we are smart and we are right even when it’s us who are treating our partner badly: it is our partner who does things “wrong” or is just simply too boring. According to our logic, this gives us the right to cheat to escape our relationship in which we choose to stay. And there is a grain of truth somewhere there. However, there are many other valid ways of looking at your situation 🙂

The reasons why we act a certain way or why our partner or their opinions are so stupid have a basis in early childhood or in our later experiences. At that point, the behaviour and opinions made a lot of sense. Even our most restrictive beliefs usually started off as something useful and necessary for us.

However, at some point it is important to let beliefs go if they no longer serve us well and have become detrimental to our wellbeing and relationship.

Are you already seeing some worrying signs in your relationship?

Relationship crises and the signs of an impending break up have been discussed in the (R)evolution for Love relationship guide Part I, Wake Up! in the chapters:

  • Growing apart
  • Masters of verbal aggression and the silent treatment
  • Exhausted heroes
  • Happiness of sale
  • The nice guy and the bad guy, the good girl and the harridan
  • Heartbreakers
  • Let’s talk about sex
  • The complainers and the compliers

Have you already spotted the signs of doom?

Solution-centred relationship guide Part II: LOOK BEFORE YOU LEAP

If your heart says “leave” but your sense says “don’t bother”, which should you listen to? By exploring both messages, you can find your answer that your heart and sense both agree on.

The second part of (R)evolution for Love relationship guide, “Look Before You Leap”, talks in more depth about the warning signs of a faltering relationship. It asks the question, how we could change the way we see and listen to each other to improve our relationship or to make the all-important decision about the future of that relationship. The chapters Part II are:

  • Who loves a model citizen?
  • What’s in the best interest of my children?
  • Which one of us is the better half?
  • What do I see in my partner?
  • What does my body see, hear and remember on my behalf?
  • The transformation of love
  • But…
  • …and what about…
  • As soon as I’ve…
  • Now that I…

The second part of the break-up positive relationship guide looks at relationship issues objectively from a range of different perspectives. 

These perspectives also include that of your annoying partner as well as complete outsiders. What “should” a happy relationship or a successful break up look like? 

If you let the choices you made in the past and matters or people beyond your control form your entire identity, transforming your relationship may prove very difficult. Learn to know yourself and understand that you are more than your various roles. As a result, you will be better able to see which choices you make from this day on will be good or detrimental for your wellbeing. Before you make decision either way, think carefully.

Break-up positive Part III TOWARDS THE D DAY

The third part of the (R)evolution for Love relationship guide, “Towards the D Day”, leads the reader to think carefully about the potential break up and what that will mean in practice.

The chapters in this part are:

  • Seeing what others see
  • Feeling your way around
  • Taking the plunge
  • Enough is enough
  • Simulating your goals
  • Today’s the day
  • Filling out forms and other practicalities
  • What about the kids?
 

Chapter “Towards the D Day” includes suggestions on how to start the discussion with your partner about breaking up and how to build flexible but inviolable boundaries if your partner attacks you in any way. Other may behave quite aggressively while other become people pleasers. Anything to avoid the break up without facing up to the need to make permanent, concrete changes to the relationship. Passive-aggressiveness is difficult to identify, which is why this break-up positive relationship talks about that, too.

In addition to broaching the topic of breaking up, this chapter also discusses the practical arrangements following the break up. 

For example: How do you go about agreeing on co-parenting and childcare? What should you we aware regarding your finances when it comes to splitting assets and paying child maintenance? Can ex-partners share a home and follow the shared house and parenting model, which is becoming increasingly popular? 

What should you be prepared for?

A relationship guide that works, Part IV: SPREADING HAPPINESS

The fourth part of the (R)evolution for Love relationship guide, Spreading Happiness, concentrates on life after breaking up with the following chapters:

  • The interim
  • A friend in deed
  • Aiming high when you are down
  • With warm thanks
  • Rekindling an old flame
  • Daring to dream alone
  • Unforcing a better relationship
 

Breaking up is much more than sorting out the practicalities and grieving. It also means moments of relief and joy as you will feel energised and in high spirits – perhaps not immediately, but eventually, all in good time.

If someone is telling you about their break up, they are not necessarily looking for sympathy or commiserations – after all, nobody died! 

It is sometimes perfectly acceptable to congratulate someone on finally reaching a good decision after lengthy and painful deliberations. A person who has broken up with their partner is allowed to speak positively about their past relationship and ex-partner even if they wouldn’t change a thing about their newly found singledom. It’s ok to laugh about the difficulties of the divorce process and finding one’s feet in a new situation – just like we can laugh about anything in life. 

Learn how to solve your relationship money problems, manage your money mindset and enjoy a happy, more relaxed relationship!

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Everyone feels differently about their break up, so the best way to support someone experiencing it is to feel your way around to figure out your best approach.

This chapter is about building a good relationship with your ex. 

Getting on with your ex is important especially if you have children together. You don’t have to be friends with your ex. But you can be if you want to. As an eternal optimist, I don’t believe in love ever coming to an end. It changes and sometimes those changes are painful and feel far from love.

The final part of the book also supports your efforts to build a better self-esteem and wellbeing for yourself. Don’t waste any more time. Start building a good relationship with not only your partner but with yourself. This will give you the resources to overcome a break up and your new, rich single life that you chose out of love and not out of fear. A new, better relationship is possible once you have thoroughly processed your break up and rebuilt your resources to be better than ever.

Scientifically backed knowledge and nearly a thousand inspiring questions to consider in one relationship guide!

There is no doubt that your own situation with its special challenges is unique to you and as such extremely serious. However, seeing the issue as a larger phenomenon than your private experience may help you find new remedies for your pain. 

If you are contemplating divorce or break up and see nothing but a multitude of impossibilities, as dictated by the all too familiar tragedy narrative, your future may seem like nothing much to laugh about. However, if we learn to see the comical in ourselves even in the middle of the deepest sadness, you stand a good chance of seeing the wood for the trees.

Other people’s experiences will help you see things from a new perspective.

 These realisations will help you improve your relationship or live happily ever after your break up. In addition to true stories, this break-up positive relationship guide is also based on the wealth of evidence-based knowledge I have amassed from Finnish and international studies, relationship guides, magazine articles, online news and comments sections, chat sites etc. – wherever people talk about these things.

Read more what the break-up positive relationship guide (R)evolution for Love – A Better Relationship or a Brilliant Break Up? is all about?

A relationship guide with 57 effective exercises!

In this book, my goal is to be thought-provoking and make way for new ways of thinking, so I expect you will find it inspiring as well as challenging, amusing and sad and at times confusing. To help you, I have also compiled a series of exercises.

If reading the stories and completing the exercises lead you to see that your relationship only needs a tweak here and there: congratulations! And if you find that your relationship has fundamental flaws that you cannot or do not want to fix and you decide that the best thing is to separate: again, congratulations!

In both cases, you have found an opportunity to start living your best life.

Start improving your life now!

Big changes cannot spring from a standstill. Small changes are needed to build momentum, and small changes are something anyone can make, starting today. Whether your goal is to improve your relationship or to achieve a successful break up.

Find out more about the message and content of this break-up positive relationship guide here.

Pick up your own copy of this encouraging relationship guide that works!

My readers’ feedback has been positive on (R)evolution for Love. This positive relationship guide really helps to improve your relationship. It also supports your decision-making process regarding the future of your relationship and your happiness after breaking up.

Read the inspiriting (R)evolution for Love and notice how you too can start spreading happiness in your own and other people’s lives!

ORDER YOUR COPY of (R)evolution for Love paperback or e-book here!

A good relationship book on how to improve a better relationship or make the divorce decision and separate. To stay married or to break up?
Is it better to break up or stay in an unhappy marriage? Before making the divorce decision, read this good relationship book on how to improve a long relationship or when it is better to decide to get separated. Dozens of honest true stories!

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Your Coach Kati
Clinical Hypnotherapist, NLP Trainer, MSc., Author, Blogger
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