Want Your Ex Back? 12 Steps to Get Back Together!

“I want to get my ex back” or “How can I get back together with my ex?” – sounds familiar? How do you know if you should get back with your ex? When you truly want your ex back and rebuild your past relationship, this is your guide on how to get back with your ex. Even after a breakup, the show isn’t over quite yet. There is a good chance you can get your ex back—and fast! When you want to get back together, read this complete list of valuable tips about winning your loved one back now permanently!

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Anyone who has been through a relationship break-up will know that it is one of the most painful experiences you can ever experience. Aside from the emotional distress it causes, there is typically a great deal of confused frustration involved also. When partnership communication breaks down, both sides will likely feel they have not been heard. This specific feeling of misunderstanding is incredibly stressful. Stress confuses your thoughts both during your relationship and after breakup, and sometimes you may be rethinking it all again.

If you feel that your relationship broke down for issues that can be repaired then you’re in the right place to remedy the issue. This article contains everything you need to progress in the right direction in order to get your beloved ex back. Maybe you broke up in an adrenaline fuelled moment of emotion. You might be regretting the things you said. Or perhaps you’re realising you spoke too soon in suggesting the ultimate end.

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Are you the one whose been dumped?

If you’re the person who was (heartbreakingly) broken up with, it doesn’t mean you can’t get back together with your ex. It all depends why your ex made this decision in the first place. These are the valuable clues that will tell you all you need to know to rebuild your connection.

It’s not about going back to what you had in the past. You now need to cultivate an altogether healthier and happier relationship between you. You’re moving forwards, not trying to reignite the past. Consider this your positive cue to start the process!

How To Get Your Ex Back permanently? – 12 Steps to Relationship Success!

Here are the 7 steps to follow to get your ex back where they belong:

Get your ex back, Tip #1: Reflect on the why and how.

Before you rush forwards to try and fix what’s gone wrong, take time to think about why the break-up happened. Hurtful words and rejection tends to make us feel reactive. We don’t think clearly when we feel emotionally overwhelmed, or if we are stressed at work or otherwise in our lives. Focus on taking good care of yourself, including eating and sleeping well. Allow initial adrenaline to subside. Once rested, reflect on what the root of the issue might be.

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Perhaps the reasons behind your breakup were not that much related to your relationship but to other aspects of your lives? What would improve the situation so that you could rebuild your relationship properly and permanently?

Get your ex back, Tip #2: Establish what you really want.

Right now, you’re probably feeling like all you want is to be close again with your former partner. This is a very natural desire. However, what more do you want beyond an initial feeling of reassurance? Think about what you want for your future. Does your ex partner align with your vision and life values?

Understanding yourself better will help you communicate your needs. It will also prevent future confusion and further heartbreak.

You may also want to consider which is more important to you: A) Be happy B) Be with your ex? Getting back together may not bring you happiness unless you can be happy already before winning your ex back. If you can be truly happy without your ex, would you still want your ex back?

Make sure what you really want. Then you will find the ways to achieve that happiness back – either with your ex or in your own good company.

Get your ex back, Tip #3: Decide what you can let go of.

It’s tempting to hold tightly to the things we feel were ‘done wrong’. We might be nursing wounds from hurtful actions that our ex took. Significant trauma or unkindness needs to be addressed. However, resentment is toxic. Consider what you could let go of. Do so in order to move forwards in a healthy way — both for yourself and as a potential couple.

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Stress symptoms and the impact of stress. If you have to manage you partner’s stress, yours is not a love but a care relationship.

Get your ex back, Tip #4: Give them time—but not too much.

Rushing back towards your ex too fast will only stress them out. Respect their wishes of wanting some significant time to themselves. Use this space for your own (step 1 and 2) reflections. Don’t make the mistake of leaving things too long before reaching out though. Your partner might mistake this for you not wanting to resolve your issues.

Get your ex back, Tip #5: Work on your self-esteem.

Desperation is a recipe for disconnect. You cannot reasonably expect your partner to carry your sense of self worth. You are both responsible for your own sense of value for who you are. It’s an unfair expectation to place on a partner, in hoping they can ‘fix’ what feels broken. Develop a lasting sense of resilience to allow your potential future relationship to flourish. If you avoid working on your self-esteem, you will never get a happy relationship with your ex or anyone else either.

When you have high self-esteem and love yourself genuinely, would you still want your ex back? Don’t try to fill your own emptiness – care for your own happiness before trying to get your ex back. Only after you value yourself, then also your ex will notice a valuable person he/she can fall in love with.

Get your ex back, Tip #6: Reach out without overloading.

Reach out gently at first, such as with a simple letter or a concise text message. This gives them space to reply when they feel ready while being safe in the knowledge you’d like to talk. From there, progress to a phone call. This will hopefully lead to arranging to speak in person. Don’t discuss major decisions before you’re face to face!

Get your ex back, Tip #7: Refresh your external to boost your internal.

Dress to impress, but do so for yourself rather than the approval of your ex. Before you meet up, spend some time rejuvenating your appearance and wellbeing. Get a new outfit. Get your hair done. Eat a nutritious meal.

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Do whatever you can to make you feel empowered going forwards! When you feel good, your positive energy will draw more good energy towards you – perhaps your ex!

Get your ex back, Tip #8: Meet somewhere neutral.

Don’t meet up at each other’s homes. Also avoid places where you used to spend time as a couple. Meet somewhere fresh and without memories. Noisy bars and restaurants are a no-go. Public parks on a sunny day are ideal. Walk as you talk to keep the energy positive. Gentle activity will make it feel less awkward also.

Get your ex back, Tip #9: Be honest about your feelings.

Your relationship will only fail again if you don’t set off on the right foot. Don’t hide away from the truth of what you have realised during your reflective time. Speak up about what you’d like to see going forwards from your relationship. Let go of unhelpful negativity. Focus instead upon the truths of what you’d like to build between you.

Get your ex back, Tip #10: Resist the temptation to interrupt.

When you are talking about sensitive issues it’s easy to become triggered. Interrupting your ex partner to say your piece is unhelpful to the healing process. Take time to listen to what your partner has to say, even if it’s difficult. Demonstrating willingness to support them will help you to powerfully reconnect.

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Get your ex back, Tip #11: Remind yourselves why you first got together.

Make sure that your healing conversation is not focused solely on what has gone wrong between you. Make time to talk about what first drew you to one another. Remind each other what you appreciate about one another’s character and values. Use this as your foundation to build in a more positive direction.

Get your ex back, Tip #12: Take your time and respect their chosen pace.

The pursuit of love and connection is not an athletic race. There is no finish line that you need to rush towards to ‘prove’ you’re okay. It takes time and patience to build a healthy relationship. It is an ongoing venture of discovery between you and the person you’re with. Enjoy the journey as much as possible. Don’t force your ex – nor yourself.

Successfully back together?

Getting back together with an ex can feel like you’ve won the lottery at first. The exhilaration of knowing you can put the negative past behind you both to move forwards is significant. It’s perfectly okay to revel in this moment. You can even use this positivity to develop further bonding between you. However, don’t expect too much too soon. Don’t forget that this is a process of recovery, not a quick fix.

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When love doesn’t fix all.

Sometimes, a relationship just cannot be healed. It might be the case that you realise you’re on differing paths and it would be healthier for you to stay that way. Your ex-partner may not be open to the idea of getting back together right now. Perhaps they just need a little more time to figure things out. Whatever the situation is, prioritise your mental health. You are a worthy person who deserves to be appreciated for who they are.

If you start to struggle…

Getting back together is not going to be all sunshine and rainbows. Discovered things aren’t running as smoothly as you’d hope with your ex back in your life? Don’t give up hope. There will inevitably be some challenges to overcome together as you progress forwards.

Return to the 12 steps above when you need to. Revisit how you felt when you last actioned them. What did you learn during your time alone and how could this help the situation with your partner?

Whatever happens, remember to love yourself.

We are all wonderfully human. We all make mistakes sometimes. Although significant red flags cannot be ignored, try not to let small issues snowball into a melodrama. You chose to be together for a reason when you started dating. Now you have got back together, that means you made that romantic decision not once but twice!

Remind yourselves every day of what you have together and the rest will naturally follow.

You’ve got this!