The power of the subconscious: Improving your wellbeing on all levels when in a relationship, during a break up and as happily single.

Improving wellbeing: How to feel better mentally and physically?

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Improving mental and physical wellbeing on all levels takes more than positive talk or superficial stress management hacks. The (R)evolution for Love digs far deeper by tackling beliefs that sabotage our wellbeing. We will delve into the depths of the subconscious mind, which can sometimes be uncomfortable.

Promoting well-rounded physical and mental health is key. This is true if you are working on your relationship, recovering from a break up or finding your feet as happy single. The articles under each blog theme look at each stage in life and different problem situations. The focus is on your personal wellbeing as well as that of your partner or ex.

Overall wellbeing tends to rest on what goes on in the unconscious mind and the subconscious. As a clinical hypnotherapist and accredited NLP Trainer coach, I will be focusing on the aspects of mental wellbeing. Do bear in mind, however, that the mind and the body can never be separated. Sometimes, the mental wellbeing improves through the physical, such as fulfilling sex life.

Improving your wellbeing is not possible without engaging the subconscious and the unconscious mind.

You have probably in some point in your life set yourself a goal that you were not able to reach no matter how hard you wanted it. Perhaps you have decided over and over again to quit a bad habit or to improve on a specific area in your life. Regardless of swearing that this time you would do it, somehow, you still found yourself, once again, back in square one, stuck just like before.

Why is that?

Most of our actions, in fact 95 percent, are based on subconscious and unconscious drivers which can sometimes lead us astray. With the confidence of an autopilot, we follow the wrong path. A dieter stares in disbelief at the empty bag of sweets they just devoured. A cheater finds themselves in between the sheets of their lover despite telling themselves and perhaps even their spouse that it would never happen again. 

If you set your goals only on the level of your conscious, logical and rational mind, you will be crawling towards your goal using only 5% of the fuel you have at your disposal. Use the willpower and energy of your conscious mind first on finetuning the subconscious beliefs that guide your actions. Adjust your emotional domain (even the most mundane choices are made based on emotion and justified on reason!). Once you have done this, you will be able to stop the cycle of emotional eating or veering off the track. 

When your basic settings are correct, it is safer for you to let your unconscious autopilot steer you. Your daily choices will take you towards the goal that your conscious mind has set for you, only this time your subconscious is also onboard.

The route that seems the longest is probably the fastest and the easiest

You may have decided to start a new diet on Monday or to work on improving your relationship. How are you going to ensure that your goals are actually sensible and realistic? 

Don’t make the mistake of thinking you can achieve something that 95% of you does not even believe in. You will only end up fighting with yourself until you exhaust yourself. Some people have been dieting, some fighting the endless battle of whether to break up or not to break up best part of their lives. 

Make sure that you achieve goals and only those goals that are 100% good for you. Anything else is a waste of time and energy.

Learn how to solve your relationship money problems, manage your money mindset and enjoy a happy, more relaxed relationship!

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Harnessing your subconscious and unconscious mind does not happen the second you decide something on the conscious level. Diving into the depths on your mind can seem like a slow and difficult process. Especially if this is your first time down there. You will be more likely to achieve your goals with more ease if you manage to engage the 95% of your mind in the effort. Therefore, it is essential that you try and know yourself well first. Otherwise you run the risk of going back to superficial tricks and hacks to brighten up your day or to improve your relationship, without ever enjoying any lasting benefits.

Don’t spend the rest of your life sleepwalking and deceiving yourself. That you can’t achieve anything better in your relationship or as single simply isn’t true. Because you can, without a shadow of a doubt. If your mind does not believe in this 100% quite yet, it is high time that you start practicing your mind. Don’t waste any more of your valuable time in this world on chasing rainbows.

Promoting well-rounded physical and mental health in a relationship

Read more on the tools for creating a better relationship and improving your wellbeing in a relationship in Good Relationship blog theme.

Improving one’s mental wellbeing is particularly important when you are going through a break up

Working on your mental wellbeing before starting the break up process is important. The one initiating the break up should feel confident in their decision and have the energy to discuss their plans with their partner. Starting a break up process stressed and unprepared is not a good idea. It is much better to make sure you are in a good place in terms of wellbeing before taking the next step: talking about breaking up. 

Sometimes focusing on your personal wellbeing and reducing stress may help you see your whole relationship in a new light and perhaps you will, after all, be able to salvage it.

Sometimes divorce is the only realistic way of improving the physical and mental wellbeing on all levels for both partners. Divorcing or breaking up can bring many positives apart from changing your couple status.

If breaking up is the way forward for you, read more about supporting your wellbeing in the articles in the theme To Break Up or Not to Break Up. Wellbeing after the break up is discussed in articles under the theme After a Break Up

Improving overall wellbeing when you are single is also key to more enjoyable dating

The articles focusing on the physical and mental wellbeing when single can be found in the blog theme Single Life. Read, for example, the blog posts about promoting holistic wellbeing. Improving mental wellbeing is the focus of the following blog articles:

Improving your partner’s and your own wellbeing in the middle of busy daily life

Rediscover your joy and peace of mind under the Wellbeing theme! This wellbeing blog discusses how to boost your wellbeing in a relationship or on your own. The other (R)evolution for Love blog themes are:

Good relationship:

What is a good, happy relationship? How to improve it and sex life? If you have been together for a long time and it sometimes feels like you’ve run out of things to say and, with that, run out of sex, how to learn to talk and show affection in a more fulfilling way than ever? Or how to find a new balance with your partner where daily life is not a chore and sex is good? Read more under the Good Relationship theme!

To Break Up or Not to Break Up

This theme helps you to come to a decision whether or not to end your relationship and stop sitting on the fence. If your relationship makes you uncomfortable, is it worth staying together or would it be best to break up, read more under the To Break Up or Not to Break Up theme.

The Cheating blog theme:

One night stand. Or two. A secret affair. Another woman. A third wheel. You name it… Whether it was your partner or you who cheated, read our tips and benefit from the peer support so that you can follow your heart towards a better life after cheating. Read more under the Cheating theme.

After the Break Up blog theme: 

How to survive a break up? How to enjoy life when the process is still ongoing and your ex is giving you hell? What is life like after breaking up? How to get peer support in the middle of a break up? Learn to face your ex with dignity and respect even if towards the end your relationship you hated each other more than anything in the world. Chances are that once the break up is done and dusted, they longer have the power to irritate you and they may turn into a better friend you ever thought possible. Read more under the After Break Up theme.

Single life: 

Wild and free? Or at least wannabe wild and free? What’s it like to be single? What are you going to do once you are on your own? If being single again only fills you with fear and angst what should you do? What to do if you want a relationship but really don’t see yourself going on Tinder or any other dating app or website? Read my life-affirming blog on single life here!

Coach Kati Niemi - Mindshifting MOMENTUM Ltd

Improving wellbeing in a relationship or as single – Order a book that will help you stop the fruitless pondering over breaking up and make a decision.

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Your Coach Kati
Clinical Hypnotherapist, NLP Trainer, MSc., Author, Blogger
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A solution-centred relationship guide that works. Make that decision: should you stay or go? Should you work on your relationship or give up?

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